Just kill me!!!

I've got the mother of all sore throats right now. It started about a week ago with just a little bit of an annoying soreness when my throat would get dry. Now I swear there are some demented sadistic little elves in my mouth jabbing me with spears every time I swallow or talk. I'm tempted to just let the drool flow down my chin to save myself the agony. I've gargled salt water (bleech) and Peroxyl and used about a gallon Chloroseptic. I even gargled the Chloroseptic in a futile attempt to get some relief. Nothing is working!!!

I'm begging you..... just one hard whack in the head with a blunt object would do it.