Random Girl Strikes Again

All things wise and wonderful... and some really dumb... and mostly random

Thursday, September 11, 2003

So I think I'm a stalker.

No really, I do. But I'm not sure if I truly qualify for the title. Maybe I should say I have a really annoying habit of "checking up" on people I used to know. I use Google to see if I can find any juicy tidbits of their online life that they carelessly left lying around cyberspace. Digging for dirt on their current situation to see if I had a profound effect upon their lives. So profound that they had to write a 20 page document and post it for all the world to see about how wonderful I am. Mostly I'm just bored and nosy.

Recently I have been finding myself a bit obsessed with looking up the only other guy besides my husband that I can say I really dated. We dated briefly way back in 1997 and he was a nice enough guy. He was really smart, had a nice car, great job, live in San Diego, one of my favorite cities, and was a lot of fun to be around. One of the things I found interesting about him was that he really identified with animals. More so than people really. And he never wanted to eat in any type of franchise restaurant. This was fun at first. We always had to find some cute little mom and pop place to go. After a while though, a girl gets to craving some Taco Bell, ya know?

So I was online the other night and decided to indulge in one of my little searches. I found many things right away about his ideas and projects regarding artificial intelligence and other such lofty subjects. Being an engineer, he likes that sort of stuff. Then I struck gold. I found an online journal he's been keeping for over a year. "Self," I said, "here we will find out if he still pines away for us. He will have to have posted his deepest thoughts about what a pit of despair his life has been since we quit dating." Ok, I exaggerate. I thought it'd be a good way for my nosy self to see what he'd been up to.

So I spent a few hours reading every single one of his entries, each and every juicy detail or his life. Some of the scintillating stuff I found out was he's living up north with friends and having a pretty good time. Work is decent. He really likes his local coffee shop. His mother knits. The kittens he had bought shortly before I met him are both still alive and doing well. He has a lot of odd dreams. And he sure has been getting it on with the ladies. He talked about at least at least 5 girls he's dated since me. All the glory of love and woe of loss were graphically covered. But not a damn word about me. How rude! Not that I really expected to find anything, but it's nice to know of people even remember you.

So now I don't know if I should email him that I found it or not. Maybe I should just keep on reading it day by day, like some weird personal soap opera. Or maybe I shouldn't and let him live his life privately... or as privately as one can with an online journal. I have no right really to read it, but it's just so interesting to me. I get to be a peeping tom without really doing anything wrong.

I'll probably keep reading it. It's been driving me nuts since he hasn't posted anything since the day I found it. Three whole days!!! Maybe I'll write him and say hi, then see if he mentions me. You know, I just realized something. I'm not a stalker after all. I'm just narcissistic.


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